Tough issue on this week’s The Real Parenting Show with Dr. Pete & Sara… how to tell your kids you are getting divorced. For those of you who watch, or at least heard of the Jon and Kate Plus 8 divorce debacle, you may have immediately thought about how their children would cope with this. Because we all know that as difficult as divorce is on parents, it can be even more difficult for children. Regardless of how you feel the Gosselin’s situation was handled, if it’s happening in your life, there are many steps you can take to make it easier on your children.

Telling kids that you are getting a divorce is extremely stressful for all involved, and there is no getting around that.  However, parents can present this in a way that can hopefully set the stage for children’s longer term adjustment to this life event.

Dr. Pete has some tips for telling children that parents are separating, including:

• Plan to tell your kids at home in a neutral part of the house
• Give a couple for weeks before the actual separation so that the kids have time to prepare for the change, but not so much time that they stew too much over it
• Both parents should be present – try to maintain a sense of unity even as you are telling your children about the separation.
• As much as you can, keep emotions in check and give a unified message and unified reassurance – this is obviously easier said than done, but is important.
• Be direct and honest – kids need to hear that the decision is not their fault, and that it is final.  Do not communicate ambiguity to their children about this decision if none exists.
• Offer plenty of reassurance
• Answer all questions. Children, particularly younger kids, may have what seem to be silly questions – but parents should take all questions seriously, and answer them honestly at a level that is appropriate to the child’s level of development.

Sara offers perspective as a child of divorce, and together she and Dr. Pete give you a peek inside your child’s head during this most difficult of conversations. If you are getting divorced or contemplating it, please listen to this podcast.

Download The Real Parenting Show with Dr. Pete & Sara now and remember, even though you may not always feel like it, you are the most influential person in your child’s life! If you have any questions or topics you’d like to suggest for future shows, please comment on this blog or call 877.980.2828. Click below to listen to all of Dr. Pete’s straightforward advice and practical tips for real parents raising real kids in the real world, and we hope you’ll subscribe to get our podcast each week.
Dr. Pete and Sara are also the co-authors of Stress-Free Potty Training, A Commonsense Guide To Finding The Right Approach For Your Child (AMACOM Books, 2008). We include an entire chapter on potty training sensitive children who may exhibit shyness. Check out our website, www.StressFreePottyTraining.com, for more information.

Please note that nothing on The Real Parenting Show should be construed as professional psychological advice specific to you or your child. If you have conerns for anyone in your family, it’s important to make an appointment with a licensed mental health professional in your local area.

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It is Back To School time on The Real Parenting Show with Dr. Pete & Sara, Whether your child is starting school for the first time, the last time or anywhere in between, the end of the summer is always a tough transition.

Make sure children (and us parents too!) get enough sleep, and are readjusting routines to build in time to get to the bus stop. If your child is fretful about starting school again, or starting at a new school, child psychologist Dr. Pete takes us through the common concerns and how parents can help. From making lunches to remembering new traffic patterns, Back To School means lots of changes for everyone, so in this episode Dr. Pete and Sara offer tried and true tips for parents with children of every age.

If you’re particularly concerned with your child’s readiness for kindergarten, we recommend you go back and listen to The Real Parenting Show Episode #20, which goes through all of the readiness signs, and discusses in detail a new trend of “Red-Shirt” Kindergartners with a mom concerned about a myriad of issues as her son approaches this crucial start of formal education. Listen to “Red-Shirt” Kindergartners

Download The Real Parenting Show with Dr. Pete & Sara now and remember, even though you may not always feel like it, you are the most influential person in your child’s life! If you have any questions or topics you’d like to suggest for future shows, please comment on this blog or call 877.980.2828. Click below to listen to all of Dr. Pete’s straightforward advice and practical tips for real parents raising real kids in the real world, and we hope you’ll subscribe to get our podcast each week.

Dr. Pete and Sara are also the co-authors of Stress-Free Potty Training, A Commonsense Guide To Finding The Right Approach For Your Child (AMACOM Books, 2008). We include an entire chapter on potty training sensitive children who may exhibit shyness. Check out our website, www.StressFreePottyTraining.com, for more information.

Please note that nothing on The Real Parenting Show should be construed as professional psychological advice specific to you or your child. If you have concerns for anyone in your family, it’s important to make an appointment with a licensed mental health professional in your local area.

Listen Now