The Real Parenting Show

The Real Parenting Show 043: Suspect A Special Need?

saraau — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 02:22:53 +0000

Do you suspect your child has a special need? Did you read something and recognize your child in the description or do you just have a nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach that there might be a problem? Dr. Pete, a pediatric neuropsychologist with years of experience diagnosing special needs in children, offers up tips for you.

Step One: Talk with your spouse or the child’s other parent. He or she may have noticed other signs, or nothing at all. Respect his or her feelings, but if you think they are in denial, gently remind them that all you want to do is find out one way or another, and that if your child does have a special need, early intervention is nearly always the best course of action. But do not amplify the problem to try to force the other to act. (Unfortunately, special needs diagnoses correlate to a higher divorce rate, so try to get on the same page to head off any marital problems that will only complicate the situation.)

Step Two: See your pediatrician immediately. Describe your concerns and ask for her or his assessment of your child, and/or a referral to a specialist for a diagnosis. Your child’s school is often another fantastic resource for evaluations of special needs.

Step Three: If you are told a “wait and see” approach is best, but you aren’t comfortable with that, make sure you speak up and voice your concerns.

Step Four: Discuss all your questions and concerns with the specialist so you truly understand the situation, it’s implications and the options for your child.

This is an important subject, and Dr. Pete takes us through it all in depth, so don’t miss this podcast!

Dr. Pete and Sara are also the co-authors of Stress-Free Potty Training, A Commonsense Guide To Finding The Right Approach For Your Child (AMACOM Books, 2008). We include an entire chapter on potty training sensitive children who may exhibit shyness. Check out our website, www.StressFreePottyTraining.com, for more information.

Please note that nothing on The Real Parenting Show should be construed as professional psychological advice specific to you or your child. If you have concerns for anyone in your family, it’s important to make an appointment with a licensed mental health professional in your local area.

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The Real Parenting Show 042: The Importance of Sleep

saraau — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 02:22:10 +0000

Many parents don’t realize the link between their child’s behavior and sleep, but it is most definitely correlated! On this episode of The Real Parenting Show With Dr. Pete & Sara, we examine the growing body of research indicating a strong link between the quality and amount of children’s sleep and their cognitive, behavioral, emotional, and health outcomes.

A recent study published in the Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics suggested that children whose parents do not enforce a regular bedtime are at greater risk for worse health. Another study recently published in the journal Sleep found that families who used a bedtime routine had children who tended to fall asleep faster at bed time. It has been established that not getting enough sleep affects children’s behavior, memory, attention, and emotional functioning. We are sure that those of us who either occasionally or routinely do not get enough sleep can certainly relate to these negative effects!

Dr. Pete takes us through how the outcomes of these studies relate to what we are doing with our own kids in terms of their total hours of sleep, explains how many hours each age child needs, and how to keep bedtime from becoming a battle of wills.

Incidentally, he recommends yanking the TV out of your child’s bedroom cold turkey if they rely on it to fall asleep – listen in to find out why and how to accomplish this!

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The Real Parenting Show 041: Homework Tips for Kids & Parents

saraau — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 02:20:57 +0000

Homework is one of those perennial battles with school-age kids. With this podcast of The Real Parenting Show with Dr. Pete & Sara, we examine the reasons behind all the homework tips you read about and hear from experts, hoping to make homework time a little easier for parents and children alike.

For instance, does it really matter where your child does his/her homework – on the kitchen table or at a special desk in their room? Should they tackle homework as soon as they get home or have a break after school? What happens when your child’s homework is too hard for you to help with? How can you help if your child’s grades are going down? These questions, and more, are addressed by Dr. Pete, with specifics for elementary, middle and high-school age kids.

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The Real Parenting Show 040: Potty-Training Regression

saraau — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 02:18:36 +0000

It can be one of the most frustrating parts of potty-training: just when you think you have it all under control and moving along, your child starts to regress, has accidents or even starts to demand a diaper again! This episode of The Real Parenting Show with Dr. Pete & Sara takes you through the entire process to help you understand regression, deal with it and start moving forward again.

Regression is often a completely normal reaction by your child. Some of the causes of regression are:

Stressful events (might create general fear, anxiety and/or opens back up some older fears specific to potty)
Losing focus after mastering a skill (no longer a priority – too involved in new things)
Physical issue (UTI, bout of diarrhea, constipation or other things – check with doctor)
Experience of shame or humiliation (perhaps secondary to an accident)
Skill not yet really mastered – parent loses focus, assumes too much skill

So what’s a parent to do about it? First, says Dr. Pete, is to refocus on the tried and true strategies you’d used when first potty training your son or daughter – positive attention and prompting. You can start incorporate some relaxation methods into your routine, like reading a book or listening to music in the bathroom, and make sure your child experiences the natural consequences of an accident (having to clean up) without punishment. You may think it’s all about your child having a stubborn streak, but getting into a power struggle with your child about going on the potty is a battle you will not win.

Lastly, says Dr. Pete, don’t go back to diapers! Why? Download the show now and find out!

Remember, even though you may not always feel like it, you are the most influential person in your child’s life! If you have any questions or topics you’d like to suggest for future shows, please comment on this blog or call 877.980.2828. Click below to listen to all of Dr. Pete’s straightforward advice and practical tips for real parents raising real kids in the real world, and we hope you’ll subscribe to get our podcast each week.

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The Real Parenting Show 039: Holidays & New Independence

saraau — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 02:17:35 +0000

This week on The Real Parenting Show With Dr. Pete & Sara, whether it’s trick-or-treating by themselves or going to the mall or movies with friends the day after Thanksgiving, the holidays always seem to be the time of year when kids want to start doing things more independently. But how can a parent decide if their child is ready for this?

Dr. Pete weighs in with his always insightful tips to help you make that decision, and he says it’s not all based on their age. Whether they are ten or 15, you must first consider what kind of child yours is and what his or her track record is for responsible behavior. Dr. Pete goes over the various kinds of temperaments and has some specific tips for parents of those risk-taker type of kid. He also offers up ways to deal with the situation when you trust your child and he or she does not live up to the responsibility.

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The Real Parenting Show 038: Getting Kids To Do Chores

saraau — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 02:16:41 +0000

Taking out the trash, feeding the dog, cleaning their rooms… there’s no end to the list of household chores parents ask their child to do, but how do you actually get them to do these chores? This episode of The Real Parenting Show with Dr. Pete & Sara tackles this age-old question.

Regardless of what chores you decide to assign to your child (and we have some suggestions, of course!), parents need to start by making sure the chore is appropriate to your child’s age, that you explain exactly how you want your child to do it, and that both you and they are clear on what consequences there are, if any, for not completing a chore.

This show is a must-listen for parents with kids of any age, as it’s chock full of tips to help make your family routine run more smoothly!

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The Real Parenting Show 037: Later In Life Parenting

saraau — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 02:15:57 +0000

On this episode of The Real Parenting Show with Dr. Pete & Sara, we’re talking about the challenges of raising kids when you are over the “normal” age of most other parents. Now, that word is in quotes because there is no real “normal” age for anything in parenting, just like with kids, and the average age of parents has broadened greatly in recent years. But, for those parents whose kids were born after they were 40-ish years old, there are a number of societal, psychological, physical and even medical issues with which you are going to have to deal.

We’ve enlisted the help of Robin Gorman Newman, founder of MotherhoodLater.com and a relationship expert. She started her online community to support parents, like herself, who were parenting at a later age from many of the other parents they see on the playground!

Robin shares her experience, as well as those of many of her members, and gives tips for other parents who may be facing a variety of challenges. From additional pre-natal testings that can bring up difficult emotional choices, to the unkind comments of strangers who may jump to the grandparent conclusion, to the sheer physicality of chasing a toddler when arthritis is acting up! Robin is a fantastic interview, full of intensity, compassion, humor and intelligence.

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The Real Parenting Show 036: Potty-Training Sensitive/Sensory-Oriented Kids

saraau — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 02:15:08 +0000

On this week’s episode of The Real Parenting Show With Dr. Pete & Sara, we offer advice to parents who are trying to potty train a sensitive or sensory-oriented child.

Each individual person has their own sensory threshold – all of us at some point will complain that something is too loud, too hard, too smelly, too painful, etc…. The “normal” reaction to a stimulus is defined by the majority of people’s reactions – but we all have our breaking points. Sensory-Oriented kids just have a lower threshold, thus they tend to find stimuli in the “normal” range more noxious than the rest of us. And so, they seemingly overreact to things – loud noises, tags in clothing, textures of food – things that are outside that comfort zone they’ve established for themselves.

These children are susceptible to plenty of toileting difficulties partly due to their sensory issues. Sensory-Oriented Kids may feel the potty is too cold, hate the flushing sound, or be frightened when the water splashes up. They may feel unstable on the toilet seat especially if their feet are not touching the ground; they may not like the excess of smells involved in the process and will have big problems with the mess of accidents. As a result, some of their toileting difficulty may come from their need to have some control in a world that they otherwise feel is completely random and frightening to them.

Dr. Pete guides us through the brain of the sensitive or sensory-oriented child and offers tips and techniques for potty training that will work within their comfort zone.

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The Real Parenting Show 035: Telling Your Kids About Divorce

saraau — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 02:13:42 +0000

Tough issue on this week’s The Real Parenting Show with Dr. Pete & Sara… how to tell your kids you are getting divorced. For those of you who watch, or at least heard of the Jon and Kate Plus 8 divorce debacle, you may have immediately thought about how their children would cope with this. Because we all know that as difficult as divorce is on parents, it can be even more difficult for children. Regardless of how you feel the Gosselin’s situation was handled, if it’s happening in your life, there are many steps you can take to make it easier on your children.

Telling kids that you are getting a divorce is extremely stressful for all involved, and there is no getting around that. However, parents can present this in a way that can hopefully set the stage for children’s longer term adjustment to this life event.

Dr. Pete has some tips for telling children that parents are separating, including:

Plan to tell your kids at home in a neutral part of the house
Give a couple for weeks before the actual separation so that the kids have time to prepare for the change, but not so much time that they stew too much over it
Both parents should be present – try to maintain a sense of unity even as you are telling your children about the separation.
As much as you can, keep emotions in check and give a unified message and unified reassurance – this is obviously easier said than done, but is important.
Be direct and honest – kids need to hear that the decision is not their fault, and that it is final. Do not communicate ambiguity to their children about this decision if none exists.
Offer plenty of reassurance
Answer all questions. Children, particularly younger kids, may have what seem to be silly questions – but parents should take all questions seriously, and answer them honestly at a level that is appropriate to the child’s level of development.

Sara offers perspective as a child of divorce, and together she and Dr. Pete give you a peek inside your child’s head during this most difficult of conversations. If you are getting divorced or contemplating it, please listen to this podcast.

Download The Real Parenting Show with Dr. Pete & Sara now and remember, even though you may not always feel like it, you are the most influential person in your child’s life! If you have any questions or topics you’d like to suggest for future shows, please comment on this blog or call 877.980.2828. Click below to listen to all of Dr. Pete’s straightforward advice and practical tips for real parents raising real kids in the real world, and we hope you’ll subscribe to get our podcast each week.
Dr. Pete and Sara are also the co-authors of Stress-Free Potty Training, A Commonsense Guide To Finding The Right Approach For Your Child (AMACOM Books, 2008). We include an entire chapter on potty training sensitive children who may exhibit shyness. Check out our website, www.StressFreePottyTraining.com, for more information.

Please note that nothing on The Real Parenting Show should be construed as professional psychological advice specific to you or your child. If you have conerns for anyone in your family, it’s important to make an appointment with a licensed mental health professional in your local area.

Listen Now

The Real Parenting Show 034: Back To School

saraau — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 02:12:44 +0000

It is Back To School time on The Real Parenting Show with Dr. Pete & Sara, Whether your child is starting school for the first time, the last time or anywhere in between, the end of the summer is always a tough transition.

Make sure children (and us parents too!) get enough sleep, and are readjusting routines to build in time to get to the bus stop. If your child is fretful about starting school again, or starting at a new school, child psychologist Dr. Pete takes us through the common concerns and how parents can help. From making lunches to remembering new traffic patterns, Back To School means lots of changes for everyone, so in this episode Dr. Pete and Sara offer tried and true tips for parents with children of every age.

If you’re particularly concerned with your child’s readiness for kindergarten, we recommend you go back and listen to The Real Parenting Show Episode #20, which goes through all of the readiness signs, and discusses in detail a new trend of “Red-Shirt” Kindergartners with a mom concerned about a myriad of issues as her son approaches this crucial start of formal education. Listen to “Red-Shirt” Kindergartners

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